#Alovelettertomyself

So it is Valentines day and I am sure you have all seen people posting about how much they love their partners , I have already done one myself . 

I do not believe that Valentines day is the only day we should show others how much we love them, it is something I try to do every day to both my husband and my children but how much am I telling myself that I love me too?
I was always told

If you can not love yourself , how do you expect others to love you?

Self-confidence and self acceptance is key to loving yourself . You allow yourself to open up to others and then find someone to love you and in turn you love them back.
A lot of people also use that line as to say 

Why would you care for others when you can not care for yourself?

The microcosm of your relationship with yourself is representative of the macrocosm of your relationship with others.

I think that receiving love can make you learn how to love yourself too.
So if someone is in a situation where its easier to love someone else than themself it could be good to end up in a relationship where their partner does the same, and through that mutual love they both might learn and discover how to love themself which is what happened in my case.

I grew up thinking the only way to be loved was to love others, but it was in the wrong way. I gave them everything , my body , my soul and my secrets but some took advantage and used it to make me feel bad about myself or to humiliate me.

When I met my husband he taught me that love comes much deeper than showing it with my body and so I started to teach myself how to show love in other ways and most importantly love myself. I had lost all self respect and confidence and simply accepted love in the wrong way possible.

To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others. 
By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life.
Never think that you're living your life for nothing. Everyday, there are people coming in and out of the world, so spend it wisely and respect yourself. 
Sometimes we feel as if our lives rely on that one person. 
We think

 'If I do this, he/she will like me.' 

We tend to waste time avoiding those certain people, and regret it later.

5 steps:-

Treat others how you wish to be treated.
Making someone else smile in the day will make you smile to. If you treat others well they will reward you with the same kindness. You give what you get so always show respect and love to others and you will receive it in return.

Make a diary.
We all have the urge sometimes to scream and shout at others or even ourselves at times so insted of hitting and screaming out at others , grab a pen and write them down on paper. You can read it back to yourself and figure out if you truly feel like that now you have had time to think . Sometimes words can be said in the harshest of ways and can come across wrong. You will start to think more possitivly and realise you have a voice .

Let go of the past. 
So you may have been a terrible teen or made huge mistakes as an adult but you can not hold onto those bad things forever. Learn to let go of your sadness and move on.  There is always someone worse of than you and we all have to go through hard times. Believe me, I have been through alot , abuse, neglect, bereavement and loss of self control and respect due to putting myself down due to the past thinking I was less worthwhile than anyone else. We can only make it better by making our future what we want it to be . Forgive others and most of all forgive yourself.

Post it.
When you look in the mirror and say to yourself 
                                   
 '' I wish I was prettier, taller or thinner''


Does it make you feel good? No it does not ,so post a note and place it on that mirror to look at and read each day. Try posting positive to out do the negative
                                                    
 ''I love my blue eyes, I have lovely long hair, I have kissable lips, that scar makes me unique,my husband loves my big bum, no one has this face, it is my body and I am proud''


Leave those post it notes all over the areas you always feel bad about your self or put your self down and repeat them to yourself as often as possible.

Trust yourself.
Sometimes we can be intimidated into doing something we do not want to do or we feel may not be right. In these curcumstances tell yourself you do not need others to make your decisions, you are your own person and if its something you do not want to do then do not do it. 
Learn to trust yourself and find out who YOU really are.


I recently had a comment on one of my posts asking me to join in and thought it was an amazing idea. Oqibo asked me to write #Alovelettertomyself . 
Showing appreciation and love to myself  felt like another way of making me feel loved and telling myself I love me and gave me more insight as to what I feel and how lucky I truly am .

Hope you enjoyed reading and please enjoy Valentines Day.