Rejection has to be one of my most feared emotions.
I think it is one of the things I grew up with that left me feeling alone and unwanted for a very long time till I understood it could be dealt with by replacing someone just as important to take its place.
All my life no matter how many people assured me I was part of their family or friendship , I was left feeling rejected for not being the same blood type or having the memories and past with people who tried to make me belong .
Being a mum , I can always say that I have always had my childrens best interests at heart before making any decisions or choices.
I can not understand how a mother could simply hurt their child and give up on them soo easily. It is something that really angers me especially as I have three step children who are being totally rejected by their mother .
We have tried to involve the mother in their lives and with no assurance she will ever get in touch with them, it is heart breaking to think they have that feeling of her rejecting them as she is doing now.
Rejection is terrible, no matter who is rejecting whom. When rejection comes from a parent, it can be double the pain and although I am filling the gap of having them being here with as much love and care as I can give , I somehow feel they need more reassurance that their mother wants to know or even want to try and see them.
It seems that unconditional love is not in her personality and this worries me as to why she even had the children in the first place. Did she have them to fill a gap of feeling loved by them and then found it too much to give it in return or has she decided she just does not want to be a mother any more?
I am actually gob smacked at searching the net for mothers who reject their children and finding the men are the ones in the media being heightened for doing it more .
In my experience I was rejected by a mother and now these children are too , so why is it so hard to find information about it?
Is is that people are scared or ashamed to talk about being rejected my their mother or are their only a small minority out there?
I feel it is a bitter reality to find people become parents before maturity and therefore do not have the high standards of parental love to their child once they come along.
Every parent should love their child and in return each child learns to love their parent . We can control how much love we give to others but we can not control how another person feels towards us .
My step children's mother has 3 other children, 2 of which are living with her still but she seems to have done a moon light flit from her home where the children we now have here were brought up and moved somewhere else to start a new life without them, with no care to tell anyone where she was in case the children were to want to see her.
Luckily with no help from social services or other authority , we found this information through people who know her but that was a step we had to make on our own for the sake of her children.
I feel it is unforgiveable not only for me but to her children that she has done this and I wonder if she even wonders how they are , what they are doing or even if she misses their cute laughs and smiles.
Rejection is happening all around you , you are never alone and I am currently working with my step children to make sure they do not feel the ones to blame for their mothers actions but this can be tough as they are so small and I do not want to be seen as taking their mothers place although they have always called me mum and I treat them as my own.
I hope one day their mothers see's that her children should have her in their lives but for now we hope she can live with the hurt she is causing them the longer she leaves it.
The children are adjusting great to their new family home and I am positive in thinking that they are being brought up healthy, happy children, I just hope they cope with the rejection as they grow older.
A mothers love should be with her children always , not just when they feel like they want to give it to them.
I will never be their mother but I will always treat them as my children .
That is my only aim .
Have you been in a position of rejection , how did you deal with it?