So it has been two whole weeks since I last shared with you a new bump update and with not much happening over the Easter Holidays regarding our little bump, I thought it was best to wait till something excited happened and it has .
Over the past few months , the whole pregnancy thing has been feeling a little surreal to me and although I knew my tummy was looking a little larger than average , it still did not feel or even sink in that I was actually pregnant .
I kind of kept telling my self it was not real , that there was something else going on as it was certainly a surprise and unexpected, maybe an illness or something that was causing the test to be wrong or making me bloat so much . I simply could not get my head around the fact I was actually doing the whole thing over again .
Well that was up until Monday 13th October when I visited the Hospital, the very same Hospital for which I had no idea about and would be delivering my baby in .
We had out first scan to determine when baby Prince was actually due and I have to say it surprised even me and the husband by what we were told .
My husband had woken in a very excited mood , unlike me who felt very nervous, I had hardly slept at all the previous night, unlike him who looked snuggly , snoring his butt off .
I have to admit the fact that although I should be prepared for this , I still find myself with a huge fear of pregnancy .
I know it sounds silly but when you have spent around 8 years of your life living with anxiety , the smallest worry turns into a huge disaster very rapidly and it was only the past two years where I have completely felt free from the panic attacks and my inner devilish thoughts .
However pregnancy still haunts me, I have no idea as to the real underlying reasons why I am so scared, but it does not seem to be just the delivery part of it but the whole process even though all of my previous pregnancies were luckily straight forward.
Finally getting to lay on that bed , get that warm icky jelly rolled around my lower belly and see our baby for the very first time made me feel a little more at ease.
Not having any idea when this little bundle of blessing had been conceived , I was not sure if at some point of us moving or natural day to day doings had put any extra unneeded stress or damage on our little being .
Although this was our first unexpected surprise we realised it was still a blessing and everything happens for a reason.
Still somehow thinking we would look at the screen and see nothing but an empty hole and imagining the whole thing as being a phantom pregnancy of some sort , instead we were spoken to by the lady doing the scan telling us that baby was quite some size and we were actually in fact 14 + 4 weeks making our expected due date 8th October by the measurements of the head.
Well that made my whole 1st trimester totally vanish , I was now on my second trimester.
I turned to see the screen and immediately noticing a little white glow wiggling around , kicking and waving at us as if it knew we were watching it.
I suddenly realised it was for real and I was not imagining it at all but actually had a real baby growing inside of my belly .
Over the past few nights I have started to feel little butterflies in my tummy. I thought I was imagining that to but it seems I most certainly was not .
We were definitely expecting and it was looking right at us on the screen .
The lady doing the scan kept talking through the whole thing telling us that there was one baby present (huge relief) and that our babies heart was beating really well , the limbs were moving and he or she kept crossing and uncrossing its legs before giving out a big kick .
My ever so impatient husband asked if we could find out the sex but being a little too eager he was informed he had to wait till our next scan .
I finally wiped the warm jelly off my belly and breathed a huge sigh of relief .
I walked out feeling like the blistery breeze had just hit me on a hot summers day, reality had kicked in and it was a whole new start for us once again.
Stay with me for the next update and I will see you here.