Oh wow , we are getting closer now and it is not going to be much longer now before the due date is here .
I am not going to drag this one on as there really is not much to say this week except for the fact I feel myself becoming very tired and more lazy .
How am I feeling ?
I am waddling around and people have come to the point where they ask me daily, sometimes more than once if there is any sign that baby will be making an appearance yet.
My reaction to smile and reply politely with a no is hidden with the reality I have now gone from not being ready to now having enough and wanting this moment to be over with.
In the tiny little village we have moved to this year there were a staggering 13 people expecting around this time and it seems that I was one of the last to have my baby.
Now that everyone has delivered , I feel I am the only one left to be sharing my proud moment with and what feels like the world or more in reality (the school gate parents) seem to be watching my every move .
Maybe its just me being paranoid but fear is still there and although I am bearing the end of the pregnancy now I simply feel I am still not ready, none of this is real and one of these days very soon I am again going to be holding our son .
In all fareness I am at the point in my pregnancy where I have suddenly took a stance at being fed up.
I am trying to avoid seeing those new mums and their babies as I feel I may be inundated with even more queries into the when I am due although I have told them every day for the past 6 months or so, not just that but I still have this fear that because everyone is having such lovely birthing experiences, mine somehow is not going to live up to expectations for whatever they actually are.
My legs are killing me , my tummy is always hard , I can not sleep and the indigestion has returned with vengeance making me feel not all sociable and grumpy.
I literally want to curl up in my bed and sleep through the rest of it until the day is here .
How is baby?
Our little boy seems to be very comfortable in their, he still feels so small and there are days where I can cup his little bottom in my hand while I hold my tummy and he attempts to wriggle inside . These are the moments that make me smile and I hold on to .
I know his space is limited now as the movements are becoming even more less than they were and I am making point of counting the kicks as my worry sets in more on his progress in this last run up to him being born.
I have had a few niggles of spasm like pains but nothing to report as him making an appearance any time soon and he literally does feel like he is wanting to stay put for as long as we will allow him to .
I love how he still reacts to his daddy's voice by kicking out at his words each day , it seems those two have made a bond before arrival , I just hope he does not think that it is an excuse to keep me up all night with not settling anywhere but his daddy's chest like his other brother did.
The thought that he could be here any time is very strange , exciting but scary and now that I am on my 39th week it is not going to be that much longer before we get to see how his eviction plans out.
I am trying to be calm and think positive but maybe age is taking a part in my nerves more this time around, after all it is not like I haven't done this already before .
Maybe we will get to see another update before his arrival, maybe he will keep us waiting even longer, who knows but I do know this has definitely been my most strangely experienced pregnancy, for me emotionally , I just can not wait to meet him now and share what all the fuss was about.